Confession time: I'm a bit of a shipper. From reading my blog you may not notice it, but I've been doing it from a very early age. If you've never really invested in a couple (whether is it from a soap or another genre) there are some things you don't understand, but that's okay.
Warning: This is extremely stream of consciousness.
There are a lot of couples I've enjoyed over the years, but very few I can say I truly "shipped". Being a fan of a couple isn't about being rational or reason, it is about passion. Then again the same could be said about being a fan of a particular program depending on the person. It is about the feeling of giddiness you get just seeing them on screen. The OMG WOW Love you amazingness that courses through your veins. Some people get that way just hearing the theme song of their favorite show, so they are the same way...
Currently there aren't really any on screen couples that do that for me that are regularly airing on any television show. When I think about that I get kind of sad, as I've being besotted over various things since I childhood and didn't know the word besotted. I know I'm getting into something if I become inordinately interested in the topic. It turns into a race to learn as much as humanly possible if not about the characters or the program, but also the actors. As I've gotten older I've learned "tricks" to keep myself from falling overboard. For example I find out that the actors don't get along in real life, I usually can step away and walk in another direction. After so many years I know my patterns and what tends to attract me to some couples over others. Actually there have been times I've intentionally not invested and then flip out when I realize that I have.
That being said not all shippers only like a show due to their couple. Some people have more than one couple interest or like other people. Not everyone who is into couples feels the need to send letters, tweets and vote in polls ad nauseam to show their passion. This is how I see myself, but others may say oh not a shipper. Well if you can quote parts of episodes and know episodes based just on stills, well you're a shipper.
If someone watches a show only for one element getting upset by it is understandable. If a person watches a show in totality and then its up liking it for just one thing and that is lost, I feel sorry for the fan. If it is a situation where the show isn't for their demographic, I wish they would have thought about it going in, which is something I've learned from experience. With science fiction, I don't expect them to bend to my will as a female because with most of those series I'm not the target audience. They want men, that being said if with soaps if they screwed over with my interests and they supposedly want my viewership based on my age and sex I get more annoyed. Of course, if one thing is expected and another delivered cognitive dissonance is to be expected.
One of the myths I've seen over the years is how if you ship you can't enjoy a show even if you don't get your couple. And the only way you'll be happy is if your favorites are on every day being happy. That's a laugh, I don't love West Side Story any less because Tony and Maria have a tragic ending. I actually love that because of how it wasn't meant to be. Sometimes it is wonderful to just have that cry and to see the chemistry on the stage. It does come back to chemistry and making sure the story makes sense. If the story doesn't make sense from a character standpoint even if you get your couple together it can be frustrating.
As an ending, I just want to say there really isn't a wrong or right way to watch anything. Even if one has been burned eventually things get better though I can't say the experience is forgotten. If one ships that's fine, but if they don't that's their choice.
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